dawn

Sometimes when I don't post for awhile, it's not because I can't think of anything to write. It's because I have SO MUCH to write, I'm not sure how to filter or edit myself. So I wait until things percolate a bit. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't.

Things with Shout have been... well... unraveling.

She went from a kid who had normal episodes of 5-year old silliness and joy - swimming, swinging, running (interspersed with tantrums and problems, of course)- to a kid who won't leave the house. Who throws herself down on the floor screaming at the mere mention of getting in the car.

She doesn't even like to leave our family room - it's become her own personal hamster cage. She's a mess at church, she refuses to go to the pool, she won't come with me to run errands (even if I promise candy). Putting her to bed has been terrible and her sleep is interrupted during the night.

We set off on an adventure last week with promises of lots of kid-friendly fun. About 4 blocks from our house, she was screaming that her stomach hurt and she was going to throw up and she had to GO. HOME. RIGHT. NOW.

We went home.

What could I do?

She's been carrying around our barf bowl. Sitting next to it at all times, sleeping with it, holding it under her chin.

Her stomach might really hurt, but she only mentions it (and by "mention it" I mean "scream about it") when she has to do something she doesn't want to do. (Which, right now, is everything.)

It's horrible. She's a prisoner. I'm a prisoner. We are all stuck in this house. My plans for field trips and day trips have not come to pass. Honestly, I can't even get her to come into the dining room, much less take a subway ride into DC.

If staying home is what it takes to make her feel comfortable, then stay at home we will.

But.

One month from now she not only has to leave the family room, she has to go to school.

All. Day.

In a classroom with 24 other kids, not 8.

She can't bring a barf bowl with her.

If she cries and screams, she'll get sent from the room.

(And a few days after school starts, we are making a 10-hour drive to a very important family event. Honestly, I'm terrified of that.)

She had an occupational therapy evaluation last month. The therapist identified some definite issues. She was able to connect dots that I had no idea were related.

After some back and forth with my insurance company (which was pointless) and waiting to get on the appointment book with a therapist, we finally had our first occupational therapy appointment this week.

I feel... like I can breathe again.

I feel like there is a way out of this hamster cage.

There are people who understand her and know how to help her. (Because I'm not one of them, despite how hard I have tried.)

Who understand what she's capable of and know how to tease it out of her.

Who realize that bad behavior is her way of hiding her anxiety.

But challenge her to better behavior anyway.

Who are teaching me to do the same.

Hope is finally on the way.

blue sky home series - organizing for moms

Have you started thinking about Back to School yet? I don't even wanna. As hard as summer can be, right now, my biggest decision of the day is whether or not we're going to the pool before lunch, or after. I'm not ready to jam my afternoons and evenings full of practices and projects and club meetings. This fall will be harder than usual with a new hockey rink that's farther away and a winter swim team. (That, sadly, practices right next to the OLD hockey rink. The one we don't go to anymore.)

But time is marching steadily onward. The girls bought backpacks last week, because they saw ones they wanted. (My baby has a Big Girl backpack. *sniff*)

Once again, I am strategizing an organizing system that will somehow help me keep it all together.

Today's giveaway is from Blue Sky Home Series, a new line of products designed by Susy Jack* Contemporary Paper. You can purchase it online or at Target.

Blue Sky Home Series products are cute, affordable, and as you will see, were designed with input from real moms.

I have a great package for one lucky reader! It includes:



A planner. I love that it runs July through June. It has a sturdy cover, plastic tabs, weekly and monthly views AND is spiral bound (*cue the chorus of angels*).





A grocery list pad with GOOD magnets. (How many pads with magnets fall off your fridge and disconnect from the magnet?) I love the category breakdown. (Click to embiggen.) Also? My fridge is not really yellow. Bad lighting.



Do. Call. Buy. Mousepad. Perhaps if I put my To Do list right under my mouse, I will get off Pinterest long enough to do some of it. I'm almost sure that will work! (It's a pad of sheets, so once you actually accomplish something, you can tear it off and start over.) (This could last me a long time.)



Don't Forget To Door Pad. THIS was invented by a mom, I'm sure of it. Think of all the things that could go on that list: bring dinosaur diorama, saxophone, life cycle poster, Clara Barton costume, field trip permission slip. (Those are just a few of the things we forgot last year.)



I'm not excited for summer to end, but I am excited to start using my Blue Sky products. This could be my Year of Organization... I can feel it!

Leave me a comment and tell me which product you like the most. You can also Like the Blue Sky Facebook page (and come back and tell me) for another entry. (MAKE SURE I HAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS!)

Giveaway ends Sunday, July 31st.

(Also, if you haven't entered my Stonyfield giveaway, check it out here.)

I received the same Blue Sky products I am giving away. All opinions expressed are my own.

stonyfield giveaway - summer in a box!

I forgot how hard it is to keep up with le blog in the summer. I have two giveaways that have been waiting in the wings - I'm going to do them both this week!

First up is Stonyfield!

Remember my post about trying to go organic here this summer? I'm still working at it. I've discovered that not all milk tastes alike and we are searching for organic milk that we all like.

I've explored more products from our local organic grocery store than my usual go-to items. Some snack foods, ice cream and breads.

I'm still working on produce. That one is proving to be hard. The convenience factor is huge since I buy produce every few days and the closest grocery store has a limited selection.

My garden is not been too successful. That's a whole post in itself.

I also rented Food, Inc. and hope to watch it with the kids this week. (Or, I'll start watching it with the kids and I'm pretty sure they will wander off and I'll fill them in on what they missed later.)

Stonyfield wants you to relax and enjoy the rest of the summer by trying a new product - delicious frozen yogurt bars. (Seriously, they are amazing.) All thumbs up from the Laundry household.



Also included in Summer in a Box are some other organic, all-natural products you will love. The winner will receive:

2 coupons for FREE Stonyfield Frozen Yogurt Bars.

Badger After-Sun Balm (totally soothed Cheer's neck when I forgot to put sunscreen on him!)

Dr. Hauschka Melissa Day Cream (my face loves this!)

Tom’s of Maine Simply White Toothpaste

Tom’s of Maine Daily Moisture Body Bar

Tom’s of Maine Beautiful Earth Deodorant

1 coupon for FREE Uncle Matt’s Organic Lemonade and Juices



All you have to do is leave a comment and tell me how you are incorporating "organic" into your life.

(giveaway ends Friday 8/29 - U.S. residents only)

Disclaimer: I received a Summer in a Box to enjoy. All opinions expressed are my own.

this almost actually happened

A friend of mine invited some people over to nosh and swim in her backyard pool. As soon as I got the invitation, I started mentally arranging logistics for that day so I could get everyone where they needed to be and I could lounge about chatting and not swimming.

I figured out rides and dinner plans.

I convinced Shout that she would have a fabulous time even if there would be a bunch of kids she didn't know.

I secretly worried about The Situation she would probably cause from being in such an unfamiliar setting.

I prepared my post-Situation apologies and escape plan.

I even did laundry to wash my festive, poolside clothing.

The day of the party, I structured my errand running so I would end up at Costco where I bought a pasta salad which I then lovingly dumped from its plastic Kirkland container into my own bowl and added some sprigs of parsley from my garden (what's left of it after the groundhogs discovered it) so it would look vaguely like I made it from scratch.

Then I spent approximately 40 minutes securing the whereabouts of Cheer, who is having a Stand By Me kind of summer with a pack of neighborhood boys. (With less dead bodies, hopefully. And trains. And dysfunctional family dynamics. But otherwise similar.)

I continued my PR campaign with Shout and coerced her into a bathing suit.

I loaded up Shout, Cheer and my homemade pasta salad and headed to the party in my festive poolside attire.

When we got to my friend's house, there was a curious lack of cars. Including hers. A knock on the door went unanserwed. A peek in the backyard revealed the pool, still and unoccupied.

Hmmmm.

I looked for hidden cameras. I wondered if it was a surprise. I whipped out my phone and checked my email.

We were a week early.

tenuous

How is everyone surviving summer?

It's hot here. REALLY HOT. I'm usually pretty hardy about coping with sub-tropical summer heat, but this year? It's killing me.

I noticed, reading back over posts from summers past, that I get kinda crazy by August. I'd like to avoid my annual nervous breakdown so I've been trying to find my own little sanity savers.

Are they working? Bah. I don't know.

Grocery delivery.

I count this among the blessings of living in an overpopulated, traffic-infested urban area. Peapod. *do you hear that chorus of angels singing especially loud?* I can order my groceries online and they get delivered. I'm sitting here waiting for the truck right now.

I hate grocery shopping - coordinating it around kids and swimming and when my manny is home is almost as bad as the old days when I had to bring 4 kids with me. (Ok, nothing is THAT bad.)

This way, I can pull up everything I've ever bought at my local grocery store and just check off what I want. It takes 10 minutes. And then someone else brings all those bags into my house.

Keeping the House Clean

Ok, sure. This one is a piece of cake, right? Hell to the no! Internet, I'm going to share a dirty little secret with you. I have a cleaning lady. Yes, I do. She only comes once a month, so it's not like I don't clean my house in between. Honestly, it's more therapy for me than anything else. For one day, the entire house is clean and straightened.

But my cleaning lady goes on vacation in July and August... I think that is a big part of my end-of-summer meltdown. I try to keep up, but with 4 (or 5 or 6 or 7 or 8) kids here all day, things get messy fast! This year, I'm trying harder. And if by the end of July, things are out of control, I'm calling in a back up cleaning lady. It's way cheaper than a nervous breakdown.

Time Off

With my newly-minted babysitting-age manny, my PLAN is to get out of the house one morning a week. To get my hair cut, nails done, sit in Starbucks and drink my coffee in peace for an hour.

I haven't actually implemented this one yet, but I will! Seriously! Tomorrow.

Groupon

And Living Social and Certifikid and Plum District and all those deal websites... I've been buying up tickets for local attractions at deeply discounted prices. This week, we're going to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum.

Girls Nights

One thing I love about summer, I actually get to talk to other grownups at the pool. It's a years-worth of conversation crammed into 3 months. That right there is a sanity saver. But it's also the time when there is no homework, fewer games/practices/meets and somewhat lax bedtimes. It's the perfect time for a night out with the girls. (Or that's what I've been telling myself since February.)

I need to take advantage of the benefits of summer and not focus on the downsides. (OMG, it's 100 degrees and I have 4,5,6,7,8 kids to entertain all. day. long.) Helloooo ladies night!

What are your summer sanity savers? Camps? Vacations? Your blender?

the one where i ended up drinking beer out of a paper bag down by the train tracks

Did I tell you all about Newark Train Station? I don't think I did! Where the Bolt Bus dropped me off?

I had about 40 minutes to kill there between getting off the bus and catching a train.

So in the station, there's a liquor store that sells SINGLE BOTTLES OF BEER. And they put your beer bottle in a skinny brown paper bag and take the cap off for you at the cash register.

I know!

And then, you take your beer, and go stand by the train tracks and drink it, out of the brown paper bag!

I'm sorry, but that is a RIOT!

I love Newark! (Who has ever said that?)

I can totally see how a person might be tempted to drink a few beers out of the brown paper bags, take a nap on a bench and you know, get a little scruffy there.

Fortunately, my train came and I only had time for one beer.

lazy

I can't remember from where I got this picture.
My apologies. Maybe Country Living.

They're finally here! The summer days where we sleep in and don't have any carpools. (Which isn't to say I'm not cleaning bathrooms, folding laundry, grocery shopping and serving 18 meals a day... but that's as lazy as I can get around here.)

Our July 4th was fun - still my favorite day of the year. Although by the end of yesterday, it was starting to feel more like the Bataan Death March of Patriotic Festivity.

I started the day by attempting to make these cupcakes from Hoosier Homemade.


photo Hoosier Homemade

Except I realized I only had black and orange Halloween cupcake wrappers. So I switched to a cake instead of cupcakes. And then I didn't have the good paste food coloring, just the drops from the grocery store. So intead of a red, white and blue cake, it was more like a teal, pink and yellow cake. (Also, I need a lot of work on my swirling technique. I was afraid I was going to end up with a purple cake.)


Clearly, there is little resemblance between the cupcakes above and my cake.
I'm apparently much better at eating cake than making it.

Thank God for festive sprinkes and little toothpick flags.

Also? Cake. Yum. I don't really care what color it is.



Then we raced down to the bike parade in our neighborhood. It's a little slice of summertime Who-ville. Unfortunately, Cindy Lou Who fell off her bike, right at the beginning of the parade and it took 15 minutes of psychotherapy to get her back in the saddle.

By that time, the parade was pretty much over.


Aaaaand here she comes. I'm pretty sure the guy in the yellow vest was in charge of bringing up the rear.
Little did he know what he was in for.

But she soldiered on, sticking her tongue out at me as I snapped a picture. Because clearly it was MY fault.



Then there was food and sack races and a water balloon toss.



It's usually 110 degrees for this event. This year, it was only 98. So much better.

We escaped to the blessed air conditioning to watch Joey Chestnut win the hot dog eating contest. (Does anyone else think he's choking the way he bobs back and forth while he's eating? Has anyone ever choked during a competitive eating competition? I felt an impulsive need to do the Heimlich maneuver on someone. Don't sit next to me if we ever watch the hot dog eating contest together.)

Then we headed off to the pool, because even the A/C wasn't keeping up with the 99% humidity. It was blessedly cool. My little fishy-girl is really coming along. I still can't take my eyes off her yet, but I see in the distant future me sitting by the pool reading magazines. (Yes, the chorus of angels will sing.)


This wasn't actually from yesterday.
It was way more crowded.

After the pool, it was time for dinner, where we settled on the very non-festive menu of frozen pizza and salad. Honestly, I've had so many hot dogs and burgers in the last few days, I could go a year without having either one of them again. (Also? Just looking at a hot dog reminded me of a grown man shoving 62 of them in his mouth in 10 minutes, and well... pizza it was.)

This is where things got a little Death March-y. We didn't have time to eat my patriotic tropical cake. We repacked the cooler for the 3rd time and headed off to the fireworks, where we cozily settled down with all our neighbors to watch the show.

And then as soon as the show started, we abruptly grabbed our blanket and moved because our neighbors had an obstructed view.

I shall not watch obstructed fireworks!



They were amazing as usual. Why do we only shoot off fireworks once a year? We should do it at least once a month.

And then, for the time of the night where things turn ugly. The intolerable 30 minutes in the car trying to get home. Shout is exhausted. (Hello, everyone is exhausted.) Even Cheer was not very cheery and kept shouting at us to just "DRIVE," completely ignoring the 10,000 cars in front of us.

But 30 minutes of hell in exchange for a day of fun, neighbors and patriotism? I'd call it a fair trade.

Once we got them home, Cheer and Shout practically fell asleep with their toothbrushes in their mouths, everyone else went off to their respective cages, and I was able to watch an episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey while eating my patriotic tropical cake in peace.

Now that's what I call independence.