hopping down the bunny trail

(this post is supposed to have an Easter photo in it, but that will have to come later as I just got the blue screen of death on the computer with my pictures on it...)

Ahhh... Easter.

We had beautiful weather, surprisingly because 3 days before, it was fu-hreezing.

Everyone dressed in their finery without too much complaining. (Shout did manage to get blood on her dress in less than 5 minutes. Not all that surprising though, right?)

The baskets were found and candy was eaten.

Things fell apart when we got to church. Because it was so crowded, the usher led us up to the front. I started to break out in hives as he seated us in the SECOND ROW. (We are not a second row family. Dear. Lord.)

It was all good until the sermon, when Shout started heckling the priest. (Oh yes, she did.) And he made the mistake of laughing at her the first time.

It was all over after that. I spent a good chunk of the sermon with my hand clamped firmly over her mouth as she kicked and bucked like a bronco. (And we were trapped in the center of the pew, foiling any plans for a hasty exit.)

The highlight was a little later when the priest held up the bread during the most solemn part of the service. He held it high over his head and (normally) a contemplative silence would fill the church.

And that's when she yelled out, "WELL, HURRY UP AND DO SOMETHING WITH IT." (Oh yes. She did.)


This is not an Easter pic, but seemed appropriate right here.
I did not request that number.

After we got home and I downed a quick Bloody Mary (or 3), we had a wonderful brunch with uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents. No more blood, no more heckling. Just sunshine, plastic eggs and cupcakes.

That's the part I'll remember.

an oldie but goodie

I posted this last year on Good Friday. It still makes me laugh. We didn't make it to the Living Stations of the Cross this year. Tide is in a hockey camp and I was dropping him off at that time.

Today we are furiously cleaning the house because Easter brunch is here tomorrow. After that, I'm going to battle the holiday throngs at the grocery store. That's always my favorite part of any holiday - watching grown adults act like children in their panic to grab the ingredients of whatever family feast they're preparing.

Hallelujah! Get the hell out of my way.

More Good Friday Follies



I took the kids to the Living Stations of the Cross earlier today. If you're not Catholic, the Stations of the Cross follow the story of Jesus from the time he takes up the cross to the time his body is laid in the tomb. The "living" version is usually done on Good Friday and is acted out, in our case, by 8th graders at our school.

There was a WHOLE LOT OF GRUMBLING from Tide about his interrupted plans for a lazy Spring Break, involving laying on the couch watching Sports Center and watering his Farmville crops for eleven days straight and how INHUMANE I am for FORCING him to come with me to CHURCH. But when faced with the possibility of having his spring hockey season cancelled with one phone call, he BEGRUDGINGLY (look it up, his picture is there) got dressed and came with us.

The whole thing lasted about 30 minutes. When we got in the car, Tide shut the door and said "THAT WAS TORTURE."

I took a deep breath and said "You know what is TORTURE??? ACTUALLY GETTING CRUCIFIED. You know what ISN'T TORTURE? Going to your cushy suburban church and watching teenagers ACT OUT the crucifixion."

Then he rolled his eyes so hard I though for SURE were going to end up in the ER at the Wilmer Eye Institute to get his pupils surgically removed from the top of his brain.

And then, from the back of the car, Bounce yelled out "I think we should crucify him so he can see what torture really is."

And Cheer, like the good little Catholic he is, yelled out "Crucify him! Crucify him!" which is a line from the readings on Palm Sunday.

And I thought he wasn't paying attention in church.

weekend style - swimwear for boys

I don't know about you, but my teenage boy just wants to blend in. He does not want to make a fashion statement, he just wants to look like the other guys. My swim trunk choices tend to skew toward the blending in side.

First off, we have these Patterned Board Shorts from Lands' End. We buy Lands' End suits every year and they hold up to lots of chlorine, washing, and being crumpled and thrown in a wet pile on the floor. (On sale right now for $17.85.)



If patterned is too stylin' for your teen/tween, Lands' End also has a plain cargo style in multiple colors. (On sale right now for $15.75.)



Another thing I love about Lands' End is that they have coordinating rash guards, of which I am a huge fan. My teen, however, is not. It's a contest to see which is more humiliating - having your mother put sunscreen all over your back, or wearing a rash guard. So far, he prefers the sunscreen. (And a warning to you moms of younger kids, eventually, EVERYONE stops putting sunscreen on their kids. I, however, will not. (Have you seen how fair we are?) Just one more thing my kids won't appreciate for another 40 years.)

Another store I like is Johnnie B from Boden. They have one style with multiple pattern options. ($44.00)





And last, good ole Target. You can't go wrong with Target and their affordable prices. They're not as sturdy as the Lands' End suits, but they'll last you a summer, which is really all you need. Right?

We have found that if you wear a Target bathing suit at our pool, you're bound to find at least 2 other kids in the same suit. (A mortification moment for tween/teens.) There are lots more options online than what's on the rack at my local store, so I hope by shopping online we'll avoid this.

First up, Green Giant from Mossimo. Plain but in a funky color. ($9.99)



Another plain suit from Mossimo ($9.99)



And a subdued pattern. (Also $9.99)



I had to giggle when I read Design Mom's post about school in France, where two of her kids have swimming. American-style swim trunks are not allowed in the pool and all the boys wear Speedo-style suits. (I can tell you right now, my boys would be in agony.)

i sing the melody

I was at church on Sunday, listening to some of my favorite sacred music, the hymns leading up to Easter. There is one song that gives me chills. It was sung a capella in four part harmony.

I used to sing in a church choir. I loved it, but I'm so busy wrestling my kids into good behavior during church right now that there's no way I could swing it.

Also, my voice has really changed. My range is gone. My voice is lower. No more soaring descants or even any sopranic high notes. I'm squarely in the middle with a limited range. What choir needs that?

But have you ever been to a birthday party with a bunch of singers? Where everyone starts freestyling while singing Happy Birthday - beautiful harmonies - but no one sings the melody? The song gets lost. Harmony only enrichens the song when there is a strong melody.

And perhaps in life too. There are those who are pure harmony. Glamorous, fabulous, enchanting. But would they be so dazzling if there were not those of us who are melody, carrying the tune of life?

Sure, I have my days of fabulous. But mostly, I'm squarely in the middle with limited range. And you know what?

It's ok.

I sing the melody.

follies

I was rushing to take Shout to a birthday party this weekend at a gymnastics place. We were running late and it was pouring rain.

As I hurried to get out of the car, put up the umbrella, grab purse, keys, jackets, gift bag, and of course, my ubiquitious Diet Coke, somehow, the open soda can went FLYING out of my hand and ended up head down INSIDE the gift bag, soaking the bag and splattering the pink baseball cap inside.

I. am. awesome. (In the end, I was able to get it all out with baby wipes and dry it off using the air vents in my car. A minor birthday miracle. The other stuff in the bag was wipeable.)

Anyone need me to pick up their wedding dress? Or maybe their child's christening gown? First Communion dress? You know, if you don't want me to pet sit for you.

good reads

It's rainy and dreary here. Most of the things on our schedule for today have been cancelled. So I've scoured the internet for good things for you to read.

The Odysseus of Insecurity from Moose in the Kitchen who has an epiphany when trying to update her LinkedIn profile. (Oh how I can relate...)

It’s okay to read her writing and think she’s a lovely writer and not feel as if that takes anything from me. Because it doesn’t. Because acknowledging the small places, the dark ones that need a hug and a grilled cheese sandwich, means I can be excited about someone else’s success.

From the New Yorker, in celebration of Passover, Four Questions, the Extended Version

YOUNGEST CHILD: Why do we go through the motions of this ritual year after year, even though all of us doubt God’s existence?
FATHER: Because your grandmother is still alive

From Emily Rosenbaum at Babble, I Yell at my Kids Way too Much, something insightful to ponder as spring break begins in our house.

I worry a lot about what I am doing as a parent. I take criticism of my parenting hard, not because I care what other people think, but because secretly I worry all the time that I am screwing it up royally.

A Mother's Prayer for her Daughter, from Tina Fey's new book, Bossypants. (I don't actually have the book, so I'm assuming this is accurately quoted, but it's hilarious and touching either way.)

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither the Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

The Best Part of Parenting, by Lisa Belkin and Anna Quindlen. (Get a tissue.)

I regret being pinkslipped from my 24/7 Mom job, although there were times over the years when I thought the inexorability of it would kill me. But it’s hard to imagine anything better than right now: the family dinner with the five of us, all talking about politics, books, work, friends, and one another.

flying bullets

Wow, it's been a long time since I've posted.

I've had a bad case of the grumps, and while I was highly tempted to get on here and just LET LOOSE about every lil thing that was bothering me, it was better that I didn't.

You all can thank me later.

I'm going to use bullet points, because otherwise this post would be annoying to read.

• My birthday was this week. My parents got me a Kindle. I have been a die-hard BOOKS ARE PAPER kinda gal, but OMG you all! I LOVE THIS GORGEOUS LITTLE KINDLE! I downloaded Anna Quindlen's latest book and am already 8% of the way through. (I know this because Kindle tells you.) Also? Surprisingly, I don't live near a bookstore and Kindle lets you browse the first chapter or two of a book before you buy it - just like a bookstore. And then, if you buy it, it's instantly in your hands.



• My mom also made me a birthday cake. Instead of putting icing in the middle between the two layers, she put raspberry jelly. I will do this for every cake I make now. Delish!



• I've decided to make a resolution on my birthday every year. This year, I resolve to become a compulsive exerciser. I tried to develop an eating disorder, but I. MUST. HAVE. FOOD. So compulsive exercise, FTW!



• Food? Did someone say FOOD? My birthday gals took me to a restaurant called Founding Farmers, which is owned by a cooperative of thousands of family farms from across the U.S. The food is fresh, organic (mostly) and produced using sustainable methods. Whatever... the important thing is OMG, IT IS AMAZING!!! I seriously thought about never eating again after I had my appetizer of marscapone-filled dates wrapped in bacon and drizzled with a balsamic reduction. (I'll just be quiet and let that soak in for a second. Layers of flavor that I can't even BEGIN to describe. It almost had me in tears.)
  
  My palate is RUINED for life now. Anyone in striking distance MUST try this restaraunt. (Make a reservation or you'll never get in.)
  
  They even have organic cocktails. And you HAVE to have cocktails. It's for the FAAARRRMERS.
  
  Sadly, I had to go back to eating again, even with my ruined palate. See paragraph above re compulsive exercising.



• Weekend Style will be back shortly. If not this week, for sure next.



• Shout's urine no longer looks like a Long Island iced tea, but we do have to go to a nephrologist. I never should have posted on Facebook that we just paid off Children's Hospital for all the hematology testing. GOD IS READING MY FACEBOOK WALL. I imagine the nephrologists are AT LEAST as expensive as the hematologists. (Edd, I'm sure you would know the answer to that question! My nephrology/hematology expert.)



• I made a Facebook page for Laundry for Six. Because all the cool kids were doing it. I have mixed feelings about Facebook, but I love that it's easier to comment over there. So LIKE me, if you like. *points to the right and up*
  
  One of these days, my semi-anonymous cover is going to get blown wide open on Facebook. Brace yourselves for the drama.



• I'm sure there were more things I was going to say, but I can't remember them. I hope to be back to regular posting. If the world would just STOP. ANNOYING. ME.

Happy Friday!

hello camel, my name is straw

The past 5 days have been filled with more DRAMA than I really enjoy surrounding myself with.

There was ungodly amounts of vomit.

Lots of generalized household mess.

A snark-fest that sent me running for the bottle of chill pills.

A doctor's appointment where Shout continues to display ever more bizarre behavior when faced with a situation that's out of her control. (Good thing she won't be going off to ALL DAY SCHOOL next year with 24 classmates, right? Oh wait...)

Although I try not to talk about body fluids (and I've already mentioned barf above) she produced a urine sample unlike anything I've ever seen before. Apparently she's been injured in an earthquake-like disaster and sustained a crush injury. Or she's using illegal drugs and she dumped tea in her urine sample cup to throw me off the trail. Or holy hell, who knows with her?

We go back tomorrow to do some more testing.

Shout has also quit the Weekend Style team. But I'm going to keep doing it myself. I think. Also, I'm totally keeping her paycheck.

I know there's more, but I am doped up on cold medication. Now if only I had time to lie down and go to sleep.

weekend style

I'm trying out a new feature... a collaboration with Bounce, a Friday tween/teen style post. For the amount of time that the girl spends shopping on the internet, she could easily have her own style blog.

This week, we're looking at bathing suits. She's all about the bikini, which wouldn't necessarily be my choice for her. On the other hand, I guess you should wear a bikini while you have the body for it, right? As long as it's not a teeny weeny one, or a padded push up one. (Seriously, can you believe that?)

She's not quite a junior, but she doesn't want to look like she walked out of the kids' section either. It's a tough age.

Here's what we came up with:

Something sweet like this one from H&M Kids. (About $15.00)



Unfortunately, you can't shop H&M online in the U.S. yet (hopefully by the end of the year), so you have to go to a store.

What about these cute suits from Justice? ($33.00)






Check out the mix and match separates at Justice if you want to add a matching rash guard ($26.00) or tankini top ($19.90 but on sale right now, $17.90 each for two or more). You can get a whole coordinating swim wardrobe.





Nordstrom has another cute bikini that meets both mom and tween approval($40.00).



I love the tropical colors of this one.

So how did we do? And never fear, we're going to tackle boys style too. Even boys that ONLY wear athletic clothes. They can be sporty and stylish at the same time.

Until next Friday,

Bounce and Mom