bah

So now I've broken the comments so NO ONE can comment.

Awesome.

Let's see if it's fixed with this one.

a good husband would turn you in, a great husband helps you bury the body

Well, I was right. Buttercup was not long for this world. As it turns out, he (she?) was pretty elderly for a hamster and, well, who knows what brought his (her?) demise? The germs in our house, the temperature (which according to my consultants was not actually that cold, especially after I cranked the heat to 80 degrees), the non-organic fruit and veggies we fed him? I figure the dude has been living in a preschool for two years, he must have been fairly hearty at one time.

I feel bad that he died on my watch. And grossed out that we had a dead animal on the coffee table for most of the day. And I was sure as soon as I opened that cage to, you know, take care of things, he was going to SPRING TO LIFE and jump right on my face.

But he didn't.

Laundry Dad helped me dispose of the body.

We would have given him a proper burial, except according to the internet you have to dig down at least 3 feet. And the ground is frozen. And I don't really even LIKE hamsters. And my friend, Sarah, was the one who was SUPPOSED to have Buttercup this weekend. I was just the back up. If anyone is digging a 3-foot hole, it should be her. (Also? As a tip, don't google "bury the body"... trust. me.)

But I realized that I went through the five stages of death and dying... and any of you who are LUCKY enough to be my friend on Facebook, got to get live updates! I've recreated it here.

• Sue Laundry Lady
We have the kindergarten hamster at our house and uh... I haven't seen him move in the last 24 hours.
15 hours ago • Friends Only •LikeUnlike •

*stage one: DENIAL*

• Sue Laundry Lady
Ok, the hamster IS alive. But not moving much. Hopefully this is not a bad sign.
13 hours ago • Friends Only •LikeUnlike •

*stage two: ANGER*

• Sue Laundry Lady
Wake UP you stupid hamster!
10 hours ago • Friends Only •LikeUnlike •

(ok, I made this one up... never let the truth get in the way of a good story, people)


*stage three: BARGAINING*

• Sue Laundry Lady
Well... I can see breathing motion, but he hasn't come out of his cottage or eaten any food. Now I think he either has a thyroid problem or seasonal affective disorder. I tried to take his pulse, but I have no idea where his arteries are. As long as he keeps breathing until I get him back to the classroom tomorrow...
9 hours ago • LikeUnlike

*stage four: DEPRESSION*

• Sue Laundry Lady
Hamster still hasn't moved. Don't see signs of breathing. Gah.
6 hours ago • Friends Only •LikeUnlike •

*stage five: ACCEPTANCE*

• Sue Laundry Lady
R.I.P. Buttercup
about an hour ago • Friends Only •LikeUnlike •

The whole process was far more traumatic for me than the kids. Shout had a friend over yesterday afternoon, and she came in and said "Oh! Is that Buttercup?"

And Shout said, "Yeah. But he's dead."

And then they proceeded to set up a Polly Pocket pool party right next to the cage with the dead rodent in it.

The only good thing is, I can use this as a case study the next time they ask for a dog.

really mother nature?

We had a great long weekend of basketball, swimming, hockey, birthday parties, mountains of flipping laundry, plaster dust. You know, the usual. Sunday nights are so much more relaxing when you don't have to worry about school the next morning.

But then, lo about noon on Monday you are wondering if it really wouldn't be better to celebrate President's Day by sending the kids to school to learn about, oh, I dunno, the Presidents? (Ok, yes. We do talk about the Presidents at home, but REALLY? Must I do everything?)

But we survived and finished up two posterboard projects. Which, let me tell you, were not without their share of DRAMA. For example, can you name 2 characteristics of oxygen? Such as color, texture, smell or taste. What about propane? Nope. Me either. Also, Shout had to write numbers 1-100 and then glue something by each number. She picked marshmallows. Did you know that Elmers glue does not hold marshmallows on a posterboard? Neither does craft glue or glue dots.

Superglue. We had to use superglue and guess how many times I had to extract her little thumbs from the posterboard? (Hint, somewhere slightly less than 100.)

But those little suckers are NEVER coming off that poster.

Last night, I happily packed lunches, located uniforms, lined up backpacks. Except we woke up to a microscopic amount of snow which was mostly on grass and school was CANCELLED. Gah.

We've also had the kindergarten class hamster, Buttercup, home for the weekend. They turn off the heat in the school and Buttercup has to be kept warm. (*foreshadowing*)

I'm not a fan of rodents and I'm not going to touch this one or anything, but he's in little travel cage (sort of like an Airstream trailer for hamsters), parked on my coffee table.

Except, he hasn't come out of his little house since Saturday, as far as I can tell.

Alarmed, I did a little googling and discovered that the temperature we keep our house at is below the recommended temperature for a hamster. So I've cranked up the heat, hoping to thaw him out. But our house is 80 years old and heated by oil which is more expensive than liquid gold, so this is going to be a very expensive resuscitation. I'm sweating now but I still haven't seen the hamster.

I'm getting ready to build a fire.

(He's not officially dead though, because I gave the cage a few good shakes and he did stir. A little. Which is what made me think he's frozen. Right?) Or maybe Shout stuck her little superglue laden fingers in his cage and poisoned him.

I've managed to keep four little people from freezing or poisoning themselves for going on 13 years here. That's pretty good. Do I really have to do it all for a hamster too?

(Updated to add... maybe Buttercup has a thyroid problem? Because that makes me feel like I want to sleep all day. I could drop in one of my thyroid pills. Or maybe Buttercup just doesn't like us and is playing possum. It wouldn't be the first time a guest at our house did that. Or? Maybe it's just that hamsters are nocturnal and I am not.)

putting the H in ADHD

Never think to yourself, internet, "Wow... could my week get any crazier?" Because your car will die. Or you will get six speeding tickets. Or maybe both.

But the weather here is GORGEOUS today, and I know it won't last, so I'm going to TRY not to complain (oh, hell, who am I kidding - MY CAR DIED! AND I GOT SIX SPEEDING TICKETS!)... (perhaps I should clarify, I got 2 tickets and my husband got 4 from a new fancy-dancy speed camera along the road we drive up and down all. day. long. There's a 2 week lag between speeding and getting the ticket in the mail, so hopefully we are all done with those. I'm all for reducing speeding, but a little warning would have been nice.)

Today is the first day in weeks that I haven't been running like a bat out of hell. I stopped at the grocery store to pick up frozen waffles (because we go through at least 6 of those daily) and remembered that we have two birthday parties on tap for this weekend. Call me lazy, but Target is on the OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET from the grocery store and I didn't want to drive, find a new parking space and trek in there too.

So guess what they were selling at the grocery store in that crazy seasonal/book/toy aisle between snacks and frozen food? FOOTBALLS! So that's what we are giving as birthday gifts this weekend.

In the meantime, I wait for my mechanic's phone call to tell me how broke I'm going to be this month.

I also have to fit in my Couch to 5K training run today. I did my last one in the neighborhood by my kids school. A few hours later, I got a public safety text message that there was an armed man wielding an ice pick on the jogging path I was on. Great.

Also? An ice pick? Are those really necessary anymore, what with ice machines on refrigerators and all? They didn't say how old the suspect was, but I'm guessing, like 70 because I don't know ANYONE my age who actually owns an ice pick. But then again, maybe I just don't travel in those circles.

As you might have noticed, I installed a new commenting plug-in. It does some really cool stuff that I totally haven't figured out yet, but let me know if you hate it. Or if you can't comment. (I guess you'll have to do that by email... laundryforsix at gmail dot com.)

Also, the winner of my Blogoversary Starbucks Gift Card is SharonHofmann! Sharon, send me an email so I can mail you your spoils!!

backing up

It's another one of those weeks where if I had a dollar for every time I've backed my car out of the driveway, I could AT LEAST support my Starbucks habit.

Today, everyone has an early dismissal and Shout has to be tested for kindergarten. (Even though she already passed the test for first grade.) Then, we're going to scope out a high school hockey game so Tide can see the schools he's interested in in action. (Because we don't go to enough hockey games already, apparently. Also, I need to see just HOW BIG the boys men who will be slamming mah baybee up against the boards of the rink actually are. Don't worry - I've already got the xanax in my purse. Also? Is it weird to anyone else that I'm having one child tested for kindergarten and checking out high schools with another?) Throw in a basketball practice and a meeting, and we're up to 9pm and approximately 8 times backing out of the driveway.

(Did I mention that Cheer is a basketball PHENOM? Who knew? He's never played before and we don't even have a hoop at home, but he's scoring 20 or more points per game. Granted it's peewee basketball with little kids and lower baskets, but whoa. Is it too early to start counting on a scholarship?)

This week started OUT crazy because of Valentine's Day, which is the one day of the entire year where I get my Martha on. For some reason, I set the bar high for myself on that day, instead of my usual philosophy of "Set the Bar Somewhere Firmly in the Middle."

We had a total of 71 Valentines to make. (And that doesn't even include Tide who declined for the first time this year.)

Here's what we came up with:

Bounce made these



The directions called for Rolo candy, but we couldn't find those in rolls anywhere. And I don't believe that Lifesavers makes candy in rolls anymore either. (*moment of silence*) So we used Smarties. (The idea was from Family Fun magazine, but I can't find the instructions on the website. You all are smart. You'll figure it out.)

The looked pretty when they were all done. (The paper is wrapping paper.) I could have twisted the ends and tied little bows on them, but the thought of making 62 little bows KILLED me.



Next up was Shout with the candy cell phones:



These were easy peasy because I made almost 100 of them last year and still had lots already cut out. I ordered a huge box of button candy online and a ream of silver cardstock. I also have a corner rounder which made the corners pretty, but you don't need that. (If you want to make these next year, EMAIL ME because I have enough supplies to make like 5000 more.)

And then... the piece de resistance... Cheer's iPods...





These are labor intensive but very easy. I've made them before and this year, I bought a 1.5 inch circle punch to cut out the dials. I highly recommend. Also? Don't buy a 2 inch circle punch as several people in the comments of the directions mentioned. Because I don't know what they're smoking, but 1.5 inches is what you need.



This year, I also found these baggies to put them in, because the last time we did these, the headphones got all tangled together before they were passed out.

I also had to make cupcakes for Shout's class, with a very specific recipe due to several food allergies. For some reason, it took me 3 batches to get them right, which involved me still baking at 2am. (Do you think Martha ever does that? She does look kinda tired, don't you think?)

Never fear, I'm back to my usual Slacker Mom status for the next 363 days.

(Here's what I bought myself for Valentine's Day. From here.)



And as a fluke, the Scrabble tile it's made on is a W (which is our last name initial) and it's worth 4 points!

catching up

I've had a To Do list on my calendar for months but had yet to cross anything off. It's not easy stuff like Clean Bathroom. But it's not exactly hard stuff like Broker Egyptian Transfer of Power either. It's all stuff that's somewhere in between.

One of the things was to make check-up appointments for all the kids. I've long since missed getting check-ups around their birthdays, so everyone needed an appointment, and I knew it would take awhile on the phone to get all four scheduled.

I finally did it a few weeks ago. As it turns out, some of the kids have not had their checkups since (ahem) 2008. That would be almost 3 years! Where have I BEEN? It seems like I am in some doctor's office every. single. week. How could it have been 3 years?

So begins three weeks of doctor visits. Tide's was this week. He hates going to the doctor now as much as he did when he was a toddler. There was a medical student training in the office, so they asked if he could do the visit first and then have Dr. Everything Will Be Alright come and run through it again.

We said sure even though Tide was dying a little inside. And then... they asked me to step out of the room.

Huh?

It seems that Tide is now of the age where they chat with him privately about "Guy Stuff" and mom sits out in the hallway pretending to read very important text messages. I have no idea what they actually covered, but I can only guess that if there was something alarming I need to know they would have slipped me a note or something.

In other catching up areas, Kristin was looking for Go Red Girl Scout patch information. I put in a request to my contacts and I'm hoping to get you a link or something. Check back!

Also, TS asked whatever happened after this post, where I knew something about a family that Bounce was spending time with that they didn't know I knew. Go ahead and click... it's a good story. (Also, Bounce was mGal back then.) The update is, it hasn't come up again. Bounce and Friend are still friendly, but not so friendly that she's been invited over to their house. If it came up again, I think I would let her go over there during the day, but not spend the night. Although I would invite Friend to spend the night with us. (Sorry it's taken me so long to update, TS.)

to bed

So here's how you all are lucky: there was such a run on kindergarten spots at my kids' school, they told me I had to decide PRONTO which grade I was going to put Shout in next year. More than a whole month earlier than last year.

Spoiler alert: She's going to kindergarten. (Again. But, you know, a different one.) I planned to discuss every nuanced point of my decision, but honestly, even *I'M* sick to death of listening to myself.

I will say, the day I made my decision happened to be January 31st. Which is funny, because that's the exact day, 6 years ago, that I had an ultrasound scheduled and learned something was wrong with her. Although we didn't know exactly what we were worried about yet, I know that night in my obsessive Googling, that one of the many things on my list of fears was school. Would she go to a regular school? Would she be in a typical class? Would we need to move to a different school district? What about private schools for kids with learning disabilities? Maybe we could do that.

(Somehow, while she was still a little fetus, my brain settled on a private school for kids with learning differences that only costs $25,000/year. So according to my math, I've now saved us several hundred thousands of dollars, which I'm thinking means we could buy a condo at the beach. Right? Somehow Laundry Dad does not understand my math.)

I haven't completely exhausted my dose of worry for Shout, and I know her struggles with school may be just beginning, but it was nice to close this little chapter after 6 years.

In other news, Cheer fell down rollerblading this weekend and landed hard on his elbow. He spent the next 24 hours trying to convince me it was broken. The kid needs a Golden Globe. He grimaced and sobbed and winced and whined. But, this is the guy with the stomach pain. And the ear infection that sent us to the ER.

Again with the spoiler alert: So NOT broken. I decided to wait it out for a day. And sure enough, I caught him and Tide arm wrestling in church. And he seemed COMPLETELY HEALED just in time for an ice skating birthday party. So I just saved us at LEAST $300. Which means I could go shopping here. And buy, oh... maybe this. Right?



On January 31st, I also celebrated three years of blogging. Insane! So for you my readers, if you've made it this far, I have a gift. Leave me a comment and one of you lucky people will win a Starbucks gift card. Happy anniversary to me! (Make sure I have your email address, either through your Blogger profile or in your comment.)

wear your heart on your sleeve

Did you know that heart attack is the no. 1 cause of death for women?

Did you know that more women die of heart disease than the next four causes of death combined? (Including all forms of cancer.)

One in THREE American women will die of heart disease. (Think of your two best friends. ONE of the three of you. Gasp!)

EIGHTY PERCENT of cardiac events could be prevented by making better choices in diet, exercise and by not smoking.

(Ooops. Maybe I should have warned you this is a serious post.)

Wednesday, February 4th is National Go Red For Women Day, sponsored by the American Heart Association. Will you join me by wearing red?

But don't just wear red. Promise me that you will look at your red shirt and remember to do one thing, JUST ONE, to improve your heart health.

Take your salt shaker off the table.
Reduce your alcohol intake.
Take a walk.
Go to bed early.
Make a new heart healthy recipe. Or here.
Buy a giant bag of veggies.
Skip the fast food.
Schedule a check up.
Download the Couch to 5K app or podcast. And then use it.
Buy shoes. (Exercising shoes!)
Join a gym.
Check out the 12 Week BetterU program from the American Heart Association.
Join Sparkpeople and keep track of what you're eating.
And for GOSH sake, if you smoke, STOP! Now! (Please?)

My family history for heart disease is disastrous. I can't wait until my 60s to worry about my heart. Heart disease is a process that has already begun. If you are old enough to read this, your choices are already affecting your vascular and heart health. The time to make changes is now. (Or really, probably 10 years ago, but let's just say NOW is perfect.)

Wear red with me and make just one small change... just one... to set yourself on the path to better heart health. And tell me what it is in the comments.

(You can also donate to the American Heart Association to support medical research, awareness, education and community programs that will help women live longer heart-healthy lives.)

(Photo from the American Heart Association)