I have so many posts I want to write. But here's what I'm doing instead.
Practicing psychology without a license.
My dear little Shout had a nervous breakdown on Friday. Because one of her classmates barfed in the classroom.
Apparently, right after the poor kid barfed, she INSTANTLY felt ill and had to be taken to the office. And it seems that the teacher and the principal were right on when they decided not to call me, but instead they let her chill for awhile with the principal and an iPad. (Can I say how much I love that part of the story?) Eventually they sent her back to class where she was made the teacher's helper for the rest of the day and all seemed fine.
But when we got home from school, she BURST into tears and started shaking. She said "I DON'T FEEL WELL."
Honest to God, she looked like hell.
She wouldn't tell me what happened at school. It took some digging and a few text messages to tease out the whole story.
She was terrified she was going to get the stomach flu again. And she was afraid to even tell me about it. (See those little footprints all over my heart? Ouch.)
She spent the ENTIRE weekend on the couch, with a miserable look on her face, moaning and sobbing about her stomach. Which is completely healthy.
I mean, I think she may have given herself an ulcer, but she doesn't have a stomach virus.
I'm exhausted. It harkens back to the days last summer when she wouldn't leave the family room and held a barf bucket under her chin all day. We're there. Again.
I don't how to help her. I cuddle and encourage and talk about worrying and make jokes and tickle and rub her tummy and none of it helps.
We've come so far since that post in July. We did months of OT which brought me a whole new girl. We started kindergarten (again) and made it through a few rough weeks. Things were looking peachy last week when she won an award for Improvement in Social Interactions! (Yeah, baby! Not everyone would be proud of that one!)
But I'm back to my little lump of fear and anxiety with one little errant barf. I'm going to give it a few days (which will include, you know, Thanksgiving, which should be fun with a kid holding a barf bucket under her chin at the table. Right?) but if things don't improve, I'm back to the drawing board.
I feel completely underqualified.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling underqualified. But here's the thing: You are not. You know your kid as much as she knowable by another person right now. You are wonderful for her and you will figure this out. I'm not saying there won't be more footprints across your heart, because, jeez, I so understand that, but you're going to get there. Love to you.
ReplyDeleteI second Jean's statements above, even as I completely understand your sentiment!
ReplyDeleteDeb from Not Inadequate asked me to stop by (I'm also a non-licensed psychologist! heh) b/c we went through a very similar, very tough time last summer. I normally don't link to my posts b/c it feels spammy, but here is where we first found out something was wrong (and, yes, it stemmed from a public puking): http://www.thefairlyoddmother.com/2010/06/when-child-wont-or-cant-eat.html Our normally social 9yo then went to this: http://www.thefairlyoddmother.com/2010/06/life-though-different-marches-on.html
ReplyDeleteIf you keep reading into July 2010, it tells more about what we had to do to get our girl back. It was hard, so hard, and she still will complain of stomach aches when her nerves act up, but things are SO much better now. It took counseling and two weeks of intense treatment but knowing it was anxiety made this something we could deal with logically. I'd keep writing but this is long enough---if you'd ever like to talk, please email me directly. And hugs. This is tough but I'm confident you'll get your little girl back.
Hang in there. That's all I got.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Stimey. You know your daughter better than anyone. You're totally qualified. Try and let the anxiety go, enjoy Thanksgiving, and hope some family time and good karma will right this ship again.
ReplyDeleteWow, I have missed a lot! Sorry. I get the underqualified thing. Boy do I get that. I'm hopeful that your kid will be able to work through this. She has the exactly right parents to help her, that's for sure. And if you need to schedule a night at the Mayflower to raid the minibar, you know who to call. (Frankly, I would be equally open to the marriott in gaithersburg and a box of wine. Whatever's easiest.)
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