punt

It’s been kinda quiet here. I always try to post an update on things when I get to the funny part of whatever is happening. Sometimes the funny doesn’t come to me until a few days later, but I’m always looking for it.

But I’m not at the funny part of what’s happening lately. Who knows how long it will take? So I’ll just jump on in. Otherwise, it could be September before I post again.

Shout has been feeling crappy for two weeks. Her stomach. At first, I thought it was a stomach bug. It’s been the Year of Vomit here, so what’s one more round, right? But it’s not a stomach bug.

So I took her to the doctor earlier this week. We got Dr. Distractingly Handsome again. He asked about her recent medical history and I pulled out a three-page letter from NIH. (The one that was sent via telepathy.) He decided to send us off for an abdominal x-ray to look for a few things. He would call as soon as he got the report.

After a day and a half, I still hadn’t heard from him. (More telepathic communication?) I called and talked to a nurse who told me the x-ray was normal and all was fine.

“But she’s not fine,” I said.

She went through the list of things that cause stomach pain.

Gas. “Really? Gas? For TEN days?”

Low blood sugar? “Then would it hurt before AND after she eats?”

I asked about stomach acid. She didn’t think that could be it, but we could try Tums.

“Food allergies?” Well... maybe. She suggested gluten, but she was just tested for gluten allergy a month ago. After researching food allergies, I’m going to try dairy elimination.

Then, several days after the x-ray, Dr. Distractingly Handsome called. He thinks we should wait until we see the nephrologist and ask him. Which is a whole week away. And last I checked, the kidneys are not part of the digestive system. Right?

Meanwhile, Shout hasn’t eaten anything but crackers and toast in two weeks. But we are officially turfed to the next doctor. No Patient Left Behind.

On other fronts, my insurance company will not let us see any of the OTs I would like to evaluate her. Oh, we can see them, but it will cost us $1500. I’m now working my way through the list of in-network OTs to find one who sees kids and can evaluate for sensory processing problems. (Note to insurance company, these things would make a helpful component of your database and would save HOURS of my time. Assholes.)

I also asked if a neuropsych exam would be covered, because that’s another suggestion we’ve gotten. “Oh sure. That’s covered,” the insurance company rep assured me. “Search for neuropsychologists to get a list of the in-network providers.”

So yeah. There are NO in-network neuropsychologists within 100 miles of me. Which includes all of the DC Metro area, Baltimore and Philadelphia.

Well played, insurance company. Well played.

So we need to go somewhere. And we most likely will have to pay out of pocket for wherever we go. I don’t even know where to begin. Our pockets are extremely shallow. Psychologist, neuropsychologist, developmental pediatrician, occupational therapist? I can’t afford to try them all. If I knew what was wrong, I would know which one to go to.

I don’t feel like I can manage all this. And I’m feeling a distinct lack of love from my pediatrician’s office lately.

I’m exhausted by it all.

Dr. Google and I have carried this ball as far as it can go. I need a quarterback.