Last week, I sat through my 8th Back to School Night. (Not counting preschool.) I was sort of paying attention and sort of checking Twitter. I hustled from class to class as the bells rang and picked up folders and schedules and grading rubrics. I wrote notes to my kids and tucked them in their desks. I even cleaned up Bounce's a little.
After eight Back to School Nights at the same school (even though, surprisingly, each kid has a teacher that is new to me), I suddenly felt like I'd heard it all. I've been there. I've done that. Not only do I have the t-shirt, I've already sent it to Value Village.
And not only that. I realized that I have NINE more Back to School Nights to go at THAT SAME SCHOOL. I'm not even halfway finished. Oh good GOD, really??
I started wondering if maybe I could actually start skipping Back to School Night. Would I REALLY miss critical information?
On the way home, I took the long way, because, honestly, I was hoping to miss bedtime. (No such luck.) And as I did, I drove past the turn to go to my friend's house. The one who was killed in July when a tree fell on her car in a storm.
I see her 4-year old daughter every day and it takes everything I have in me not to scoop her up and squeeze her and burst into tears. I don't, but I want to.
And I realized, her mom will never get to see her or her little sister off to kindergarten. She never got to go to Back to School Night. Her two daughters have their ENTIRE school years ahead of them, and their mom will not be there for a single Back to School Night.
After waiting so long and working so hard to become a mother, it seems so very, very cruel.
Who am I to sit in the back of the room wondering if I can skip Back to School Night next year?
I am DAMN LUCKY to be there.
I won't be missing a single one.
9 comments:
And now I am going to go cuddle my kid and make a mental note to be glad to attend any and all Back to School nights,
I am sorry for your loss.
You're so right. We're really lucky to have to do all of the things we complain about. Incredibly lucky.
I love that you leave notes in your kids' desks at school and I bet they do, too. They are lucky to have a mom like you and your friend's daughter will benefit from having you to give her a hug when she -- or you -- needs it. So sorry for you loss.
Unimaginable. So many blessings we take for granted. Your friend clearly left a big hole. xoxo.
Thanks for the reminder. Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in this stuff and forget what's really important and how fortunate we are. Personally, I hope you do give your friend's daughter a hug. At least occasionally. I'm sure she could use a little loving. We all can.
Perspective is an awesome gift. I love this quote (naturally): "Not only do I have the t-shirt, I've already sent it to Value Village."
Such a lovely post.
Thank you.
I think of Michelle often and I didn't even know her. Thanks for making me appreciate my girls even when they are both talking at the same time and want me to listen to both of them :)
I love this. I think about this kind of thing all the time. Usually when I feel like the kids are hanging on me and I want them to go away and play so I can get things done. Then I think about how some mothers have lost their children and would give anything to be annoyed by them. It's too bad that often we need sad stories to put things into perspective.
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