karma, she's a betch

I've had more than my fair share of laughs at the expense of people who drive cars that are held together with duct tape.




Sue vs. The Hemlock Tree

Sue 0
Hemlock 1

i never should have said it outloud

A few days ago, I was hanging by the baby pool, talking to someone about Little One's orthotics and I was saying that I think she may be outgrowing her need for them. In the summer, she doesn't use them much because she wears sandals or Crocs. She used to fall down A LOT if she didn't have the orthotics, but I told my friend, "I can't remember the last time she fell down. I used to tell her not to run because she ALWAYS fell down (yes, I am That Mom telling her kid not to run), but she's been running up and down the sidewalk with no problems lately."

So you know what happened right after I dared to speak those words aloud, right?

In the last 3 days, Little One has fallen down probably 20 times. Her knees are skinned, she has road rash on her hip bones and elbows, bruises on her shins and forehead. Just like the old days.

So evidently, we have not outgrown our need for the Foot Whisperer.

Something is also going on with her and her learning issues. I freak out about this every 6 months or so, so it must be time.

Call it mommy intuition, but something is not right. I don't know exactly what it is. She is a smart girl. She can repeat a story you read her almost word for word. She is very socially perceptive. She uses big words and tells complicated stories. And yet, despite the fact that I have sung the song 80,000 times, she cannot get past C in the alphabet. Nor can she count past 3.

She's almost 4. Isn't that strange?

We've been working on this for MONTHS. She doesn't spell her name. She can't write any letters. She can't actually write anything. She is just starting to draw circles. Stick figures are a long way off. I know my other kids were way beyond this when they were her age.

We have an appointment in August with her wonderful geneticist. Hopefully he will have some ideas. None of which will be inexpensive, I'm sure.

Speaking of the cost of health care, the other day, I was trying to take care of some health insurance issues. Something I spend a LOT of time on. I noticed that our dental claims were not getting paid because the dentist's office was not using the correct ID number. I assumed they would fix this. We've been going to the same dentist FOREVER and we've had this insurance for awhile.

But after getting another notice about an unpaid claim, I called the dentist's office to tell them they have to file claims with either Rocket Man's social security number, or our insurance subscriber number, but whichever one they were using, was incorrect.

So the woman I spoke with said, "Oh. Ok. I'll re-submit these."

And I said, "Well, do you want to tell me which number you're using so I can make sure it's correct?"

So she said, "We're using your husband's social. It's still 123-45-6778, right?"

Huh? 123456778? Are you kidding me?

I asked her to repeat it because SURELY I heard wrong. But nope, she read me back the same number. Which is, I'm pretty sure, NO ONE'S social security number.

camp mom tries to suppress her annoyance

How did it get to be Friday already? The summer is 1/11th over. I'm not sure right now if that makes me happy or sad. Ask me at bedtime.

We had a fun week. If *I* was a kid, I would think it was fun anyway. We went out for pizza and ice cream, we saw Night at the Museum (10 thumbs up on that), we picked strawberries, we made chocolate fondue and homemade strawberry ice cream and chocolate chip cookies. We went bowling*. They've ridden bikes and scooters and had playdates and watched movies and hung out in their pajamas.

Awesome, right? Unless you are one of my kids, who shall remain nameless (but it rhymes with gemGuy). Nothing is right. I didn't let him run in the fountain after the movie. I didn't let him get candy at the movie. (This is the kid who had $700 of dental work done last week. HELL NO, you are not getting candy.) I wouldn't buy him a drink at the bowling alley. He didn't like picking strawberries. (Because every. single. time. he picked up his little container, he spilled it. How it that possible? Even Little One didn't have that problem.)

He has said no less than 300 times this week that he's BORED. There's NOTHING TO DO. I'm NOT HAVING A FUN SUMMER.

It makes my head explode. I am working my ass off trying to make memories and have fun and do things you can't do when school is in session, and I think I've done a pretty good job of it, but someone is never happy. Makes me want to give up trying and just park them in front of SpongeBob and call it a day, you know?

But I keep reminding myself, 300 times a day, if necessary, that he WILL remember the fun. Not the candy he didn't get. Or the video games I wouldn't give him a quarter for. Or the playdates I couldn't call because it was oh, 8 o'clock at night.

He WILL remember the strawberry picking and the fact that Little One, who could barely push the bowling ball hard enough to get it down the lane BEAT us at bowling. (I know!) The dinners outside on the picnic table and the miles he has clocked on his scooter in the gorgeous summer breeze. (And if he DOESN'T remember? I have a gazillion pictures, and I will FORCE him to remember.)

I just hope that *I* remember that part too. And not the whining and the crying and the declarations of boredom that make me want to scream and find a full-time paying job.

I'm adopting Susan's mantra, Best Summer Ever. Even if I have to say it through gritted teeth. And even if it kills us.

How is your summer going?

* If you haven't already done this, check out Kids Bowl Free. If there is a participating alley near you, you can sign your kids up and get free coupons for them to bowl all summer long. Like so many coupons, you couldn't STAND to bowl that much. Or I couldn't anyway, because of all the damn vending machines and video games at the bowling alley.

summer of love (and berries)

foursome

Today is the last day of school. Just ignore my occasional sobs and screaming. Actually, after the gauntlet that is the last month of school, I am LOOKING FORWARD to summer vacation. Check back next week and see if I've changed my mind.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure too.

Before we go galloping off into summer, I thought I'd update on everyone.

As I mentioned before, Big Guy will officially be in junior high after today (gah!) and is now eligible to attend the dances held by our church youth group. (Ignore those sobs and screaming again.) For some reason, I think of all my kids as age 4. (Except Little One, because she hasn't even BEEN 4 yet.) That must be my favorite age. So HOW is my 4-year old Big Guy going to junior high? (And really? Is there anything worse than junior high? Not in my life there hasn't been. Dread.)

So Big Guy was telling me that his friends A and B are going to the dance "together". And I was all, "What does THAT mean? Is he picking her up on his bike? Is he paying for her? Does her MOM know about this?"

No on all fronts. They will just meet up when they get to the dance. Which is not any different than not going to the dance "together" - am I right here?

He SWEARS he is not "going to the dance" with anyone, but really? How would I know? My brain and heart is not ready for this stage. And all you junior high girls, you are ON NOTICE! Don't mess with my baby or I will HURT you!

mGal seems to have hit her stride. Right in the last week of school. Awesome, right? Her teacher was giving out quiet awards this week and she was the first winner. My mGal. A QUIET AWARD. I had to pick up my jaw with my hand. Too bad she finally figured out how to sit still and shut her trap the LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL.

I forgot how chatty mGuy is. He's been home this week and can answer a simple yes or no question with an essay of epic proportions. And you MUST look at him and nod your head and make appropriate listening noises THE WHOLE TIME HE IS TALKING, otherwise he will START OVER.

Little One almost got us kicked out of a restaurant last night. She is good for about 15 minutes less than I need her to be. However long that is... our last 15 minutes anywhere are always UGLY.

I've come up with a new trick to keep her from running away from me though. I hold on to a clump of her hair like a leash. If she runs, it hurts. Is that cruel? Tell me if it is and I'll stop (ok, I'll think about it, anyway). I'm not PULLING her hair, just holding it. It's her choice to make it hurt or not. (Go ahead, flame away, people.)

Speaking of restaurants, there is a fun new event in the DC area starting this week - Kids Restaurant Week. It's sponsored by Gourmet and Cookie magazines. (I love magazines!) It kicks off with a fun event at Eastern Market on Saturday (uh, tomorrow!) from 9-3 which includes chef demos and other fun stuff for kids. Both my girls want to be chefs when they grow up (not because of my gourmet cooking abilities OR because they spend time HELPING me in the kitchen - I think it's because they like to watch Ace of Cakes. Whatever.)

Then all week long there are specials at area restaurants with prix fixe dinners - $29 for adults and your kids pay their age! Some of the restaurants on the list are ones I have been DYING to check out! (I didn't really plan on checking them out with my KIDS, but for that price, who can resist? Although Little One may need to stay home with a babysitter. See above. Especially if you all won't let me pull hold her hair anymore.)

Funds raised from Restaurant Week go to help the rebuilding of the Eastern Market building and supporting Miriam's Kitchen, which provides meals and support to DC's homeless population.

Those kids of yours? They look hungry. Get out there and feed them!

and the winner is...

De in D.C. wins the tickets to tonight's Guppy Gala!! (I have no idea how to copy the winning number off random.org, so you'll have to trust me on this one.

De, if you see this, email me at mypartyof6 at gmail dot com and I will give you the deets on how to claim your tickets. (And you don't even have to meet anyone in a dark alley or anything. Promise!)

summer plans

You all have seen the crap on my dining room table before.



There's something new on my table. Find out what it is over at DC Metro Moms.

DC Giveaway - Guppy Gala at the Zoo!

I am pleased to be able to host an awesome giveaway for 4 tickets to the National Zoo's Guppy Gala! Guppy Gala is Friday night (June 12) from 6-8:30. I know how pricey things can get when you take your kids out on the town, so this is a great deal! Activities include:

A mock construction site
Rock-climbing walls
Obstacle courses
Mazes
Costumed characters
Jugglers, gymnasts, and musicians
Live entertainment
Performances by The Yo-Yo Guy

This event is a fundraiser to support animal care, conservation science, education and sustainability at the National Zoo.

It sounds like an absolute BLAST, and I was hoping to meet one lucky Party reader family there with my crew, but sadly, Big Guy has his first DANCE (as in GIRLS and DANCING and GAH, my heart can't take this) and I couldn't coordinate all that has to go on for that, so we will have to miss this one.

BUT, if YOU would like to go, leave a comment by 7PM tomorrow (Thursday). And please spread the word!

in which i overwhelm you with pictures

It's looking like this around this blog.



My apologies! We've been doing this



Doesn't he look thrilled?

And I've been doing this



It's coming together. I haven't taken any recent photos because I was trying to beat the rain the other night. I hope to be done after next weekend, maybe?

We went here the other day



And I bought a couple of these (to SOME DAY hang on my living room wall)



And this (the tall one)



And this. Cute no?



And this



I love the rusted, chippy look. Rocket Man? Not so big on "rusty, junky old metal can thingie." Sigh.

And two of these, which are decorative shelves which will look great in my dining room.



I saw these exact shelves years ago at a very fashionable neighbor's house and have secretly coveted them ever since.

SQUEEEEE!

Although that very same evening, I watched an episode of Clean House where the woman had collected stuff exactly like this at yard sales over the years until the inside of her house looked like... well, like this



That is the actual house I saw. (Photo from Style Network.)

It caused some introspection on my part.

But not much.

It's also been doing A LOT of this



which I must say, is getting old. Even though it has kept me from killing my tomato plants thus far.


And last night, it made the sky look like this



Is that freaky, or what? I've never seen the sky that purple before. And that is the actual photo, no retouching. I used the flash because without it, it didn't really capture the color.

A little later today, I have a contest for those of you in the DC area. Something very fun! So check back this afternoon!

who knew?

Dear GOD I was blind.

I picked up my new glasses today. Bifocals. I have to admit, I still had some sneaking suspicion that maybe there was some horrible ophthalmic event occurring and my vision would be forever sucky.

But alas, I put on those new glasses and

I CAN SEE!
I CAN SEE!
GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!
I CAN SEE AT LAST!

I felt like I did the very first time I put on a pair of glasses in 5th grade. I'll never forget that moment. I was at the White Flint Mall and suddenly I realized what I had been missing.

SO THAT is how you know which stores are where in the mall. You SEE them.

That is how you find the escalator. You LOOK for it.

Lights. Colors. Shapes. Crap everywhere.

After about a minute, it hurt my brain. Which is how I feel now. My brain hurts.

BUT I CAN SEE! And far and near, all at once. I can drive and look down and notice that DEAR GOD I am about to run out of gas and still be able to glance back up and make sure that nothing has darted out in front of my car.

I can type a blog post and watch simultaneously as it appears on the screen.

I can send text messages at the pool and be able to look up and confirm that my children are still afloat.

I can answer my phone and not trip over a curb and nearly fall flat on my face in front of hundreds of people. (True story. Sadly.)

I can eat, and stick my fork into a piece of food and know EXACTLY what that food is AND STILL be able to look up and break up a fight between carry on a conversation with other people at the table.

So THIS is how people live. Who knew?

If this is an example of what they can do to alleviate the effects of aging, I may have to look into Botox.

(Nearly makes up for the crappy day I had yesterday when I left five kids stranded.)

it's official

A sign that life is too crazy?

You forget to pick up your kids at school. (Actually, yours and two others.)

Whoever is currently hanging on to that Mother of the Year Award, pass it over. I was so busy today running End of School Errands (teacher gift cards, cards from the kids, fruit, paper plates, YOU KNOW) that I forgot it was an early dismissal day and never went to pick up the children.

I suck. I'm actually not even sure if I EVER knew it was an early dismissal day. I didn't write it on my calendar. I spent a long time packing lunches last night. Gah!

When I had finally been located (after my neighbor had picked up the kids, because OF COURSE my cell was on vibrate because I was at a (you'll never guess) GRADUATION last night and turned the ringer off and no I cannot hear it vibrating in the grocery store), Rocket Man called the school to let them know that I was indeed alive. He was met with the reminder that there is a $1 per minute per kid fine for late pickup. That would be well over $100.

Except I have NEVER been late bfore, not in 6 years. And if I was out getting a pedicure or something, I would consider myself irresponsible. But, what I was actually doing was losing my mind, on behalf of the school. So they are totally going to have to shake me down if they want my $100.

dark of night

Little One has decided she's not going to sleep anymore. Or, she's not going to sleep in the NIGHT anymore. She seems to sleep fine once the sun comes up. She's training to be a college student. Or a famous author.

She wakes at 2:30AM every night. But for the past 2 nights, she can't get back to sleep. She tosses and turns. She whines. She wants water. Then she tries begging for a snack. She basically tortures me until I agree to let her get up, because what is the point of laying in bed when no one is sleeping?

And it gets super light out by like 5:30 in the morning. What is WITH that? Has that always been the case? I have not been up at 5:30 too many times in my life, I guess.

Does your mind ever play tricks on you in the middle of the night? I remember having weird hallucinations when I would be up nursing newborns in the middle of the night.

Two nights ago, I was convinced that God made Little One wakeful because our house was going to catch on fire and this way I would be awake and could get everyone out safely. So I lay there for hours listening for the smoke alarm. I rehearsed the path I would take to get the kids out of the house and then contemplated how I would wake Rocket Man to get him out. I couldn't figure that part out. Then I started wondering why God would wake me up to wait for the fire if I couldn't get everyone out of the house in time. Really!?

Except? Crazy.

The deep of the night is weird. Fevers spike. Croup flares up. Your imagination runs wild. The house seems creaky and spooky. And then, come dawn, the fever breaks, the goblins receed with the light, and the sleepless child rests. And the mom? Well, she's got to get on with her day.