too tired for a decent title

First... on Saturday, we went to Rocket Man's company picnic at a minor league baseball game. Although I really didn't see that much of the game because I spent most of the time walking back and forth from our seats to the amusement area or saying "NO, YOU CANNOT GO TO THE FAN SHOP" and "WELL YOU WERE SERVED DINNER. IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU DIDN'T EAT IT AND NOW YOU'RE HUNGRY" and "NO MORE ITALIAN ICE" and "I SAID NO FAN SHOP" and most importantly "ANOTHER BEER PLEASE."

But there were fireworks and fun and overall it was a nice evening. After the fireworks, the kids are allowed on the field to run the bases. Little One ran her tiny little legs around that field and it was one of the CUTEST things I have ever seen.

I couldn't help but remember the months of physical therapy and the fact that when other babies her age were walking, she still could not hold up her head. And when she finally did start moving, she did this strange butt-scoot, crab walk thing and I was SURE she would never get up and ambulate like the rest of us.

And there she was, running the bases and high-fiving the team mascot at home plate. And she didn't even fall!

Second... on Sunday, we had brunch with another neighborhood family who we don't know very well, but whose daughter is switching to our school and will be in mGuy's class. My kids completely surprised me by being quite delightful. They had fun and were relatively polite and even friendly.

I told the other mom I would bring a dish, but failed to tell her what it was, because I didn't know myself until 30 minutes before, but I brought a fruit salad in my faux watermelon rind bowl that I got from Target earlier in the summer. And as I was dumping it in the bowl, I was silently congratulating myself on being ok with the fact that I can put fruit salad in a bowl that LOOKS like a watermelon and not have to be all Martha and put it in an actual watermelon.

So we get to the house and I bring in my bowl into the dining room to set it down when I notice the other fruit salad. The one in the ACTUAL WATERMELON.

(And OMG, I actually used to do things like research how to impeach the President of the United States and now I obsess over watermelon rind. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Seriously woman, GET A LIFE.)



Third... yesterday we bought school shoes. $300 worth of school shoes, DEAR GOD. Each kid has to have dress shoes and tennis shoes for school and Little One got a pair of light-up princess shoes, even though she is only supposed to have fancy-dancy expensive shoes from the Foot Whisperer, but the poor kid has had to deal with such a limited shoe selection in her life, I couldn't deny her. (AND they were 1/2 off. Which is almost like being free, right?)

I can't even begin to say how many times I had to say "STOP RUNNING." "NO WRESTLING IN THE SHOE STORE." "STOP PULLING SHOES OFF THE SHELVES." "KNOCK IT OFF." and even "[Big Guy], DID YOU LEAVE MY PURSE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN AISLE WHERE I CAN'T SEE IT AND JUST WALK AWAY FROM IT?" as my purse had gone missing, yet he had my cell phone in his hand.

Just then, an ever-so-helpful woman a few aisles over said "Here it is!" and held it up. As she passed it to me, she gave me That Look. You know the "LADY, YOU ARE IN WAY OVER YOUR HEAD" Look? And she didn't even take my wallet. So I forgave her for The Look, because she was totally right AND she could have robbed me blind but didn't.

After that, we went to Old Navy to get school uniform components. By this time it was well past lunch time and everyone was starving so I promised McDonalds for good behavior (which seems counter-intuitive now that I'm writing it... if you behave, I'll let you eat artery-clogging crap for lunch! Zoooooot!)... but I hoped we could avoid a repeat of the shoe store fiasco. (When will I ever learn?)

ANYWAY, have you seen these guys at Old Navy? (and can I just say that while I was looking for this picture, I learned these are called Super Modelquins and each one has a life story... bizarro)



So while I was waiting in the ETERNALLY LONG checkout line (which only had 2 people ahead of me, so WHY did it take so long?), my kids were hanging out by the Modelquins. By the time I got over to retrieve them, they were UP ON THE PLATFORM with the modelquins, patting them on the head, making up stories about them and FEELING THEM UP.

Yes. You read that right.

mGuy got to 2nd base with one of them. (Dared by mGal, of course.)

Do I need to say there was no McDonalds? Which was really a treat because I didn't feed them crap for lunch, so one day they might actually thank me. But probably not.

Fourth... Little One got up at 3:00 this morning and she was ready for business. I tried laying down with her, singing, telling REALLYREALLYBORING stories, drugs... NOTHING would make that girl go back to sleep.

So we went downstairs and turned on the TV (thank GOD for 24-hour kid channels). She ate 2 full breakfasts, I got lost in a vortex of fitness blogs and by 5:30 she was looking a little sleepy again, so we went back to bed.

Her sleep issues have been a little better lately and she has a big appointment this week with one of her specialists and although sleep was on my list of issues to discuss, I'm SURE I would have downplayed it since I'd had at least 72 hours of normal sleep. (Kinda like that psycho-ex-boyfriend that everyone has... after spending a long weekend apart, he didn't seem so psycho anymore, except, WHOA HE WAS SO VERY PSYCHO... or is that just me?? Why are you looking at me all crazy like that?)

ANYWAY, bright side? I have renewed enthusiasm for solving this sleep problem. Because seriously? How is she ever going to go to kindergarten? And my ONLY current long-term goal is to get everyone in ALL DAY SCHOOL so I can go shoe shopping ALL BY MYSELF.

The end.

PS - I keep forgetting to mention, most of you guessed correctly... mGuy is the collector of the miniature lighthouse collection. Mr. Tchotchke.