Eyes wide open

Between all the partying and entertaining this weekend, I went to see Dr. Phil.

No. Not THAT Dr. Phil.

My eye doctor. And once again, I walked in with fears of glaucoma and macular degeneration. I can't see anything. I can't see far, I can't see near. My peripheral vision stinks and to watch TV, I have to turn off all the lights and hold my left eye closed. And seriously? Once I sit down on the couch in the evening and turn the TV to something other than Disney, it's dark and I have one eye closed, I'm only one eye away from being sound asleep. Which is what usually happens. (Unless it's Jon & Kate + 8, because that's a trainwreck and who can look away from that?! Even with only one eye.)

Anyway, once again, Dr. Phil advised me that I do not have macular degeneration or glaucoma or any of the other maladies I have been googling. I just need bifocals. (SOB! And by the way, those adorable frames I am wearing above? You can't wear cute fashionable things like that with bifocals. You need basically safety glass/goggle thingies for that. SOB again!) My near vision has gone downhill fast and my far vision has actually gotten a little better (which is I guess what happens when you get older and that near vision starts going... so wooo! By the time I'm 80, I may not be nearsighted anymore! Things to look forward to?). One eye is worse than the other, which explains the watching TV with one eye closed thing.

Whew.

He was surprised however, that my eyes had gone downhill so much in just a year. So he started asking about my health. Any new prescriptions? Blood sugar ok? Any weight gain recently?

Wait, what? Weight gain?

He said your vision can change quite a bit with even a 10-15 lb. weight change. And yes. My weight has changed. And it did not go down. And it may have been more than 10-15 lbs.

Gasp.

I don't know if this is what has caused my vision difficulties, or if it's just bad luck, but that was the rallying cry I needed to hear.

Before I turned 40, I decided that, on my birthday, I wanted to weigh what I had weighed when I turned 30 (before kids). I didn't quite get there, but I got close and felt really good about myself and how I looked. That year, I worked on upgrading my wardrobe and looking a little more put-together. But slowly, over the past 18 months or so, I have slacked on my healthy eating. I have gained that weight back, PLUS some. I am not happy, but couldn't get motivated to do anything about it.

I've also discovered that as I have gotten just a little older, eating healthy alone no longer does the trick. I. have. to. exercise. (I accidentally typed HATE to exercise. Yeah. That too.) I hate exercising. The whole thing seems silly to me. We've gotten so far from burning calories in our daily lives, that we have to do artificial activities like running on treadmills to burn off all that we eat. Ridiculous, right?

Yet, here I sit. I am NOT burning off all the calories I consume. So dumb as "exercise" may seem, I need to do it.

I am a great one for making a proclamation and sticking to it for a day or two. Or maybe a week. Remember my Lenten resolution to exercise 3 times a week? That lasted exactly a week. I'm not going to make any proclamations until I have actually DONE something. But I have a few goals for this week and I'm going to try to stick with them. I'll report back later on how I did.

I do need to constantly remind myself, that exercise is like putting money in savings. You always pay yourself first, then pay the bills. The laundry can wait, the dishes can wait. I need to pay myself first with exercise because it leads to better eating and more energy. And who doesn't need more energy? Seriously?

For motivation, I am re-reading The ELFF Diet (ELFF being the very complex formula, Eat Less Fatty Foods!), from fellow Silicon Valley Group mom, Carmen, who also writes Mom to the Screaming Masses. I read her way back when she started the ELFF Diet blog and somehow lost track of it. She lost 70 pounds in 17 months. And she has SIX kids. AND she works. If she can find time to make it work, I really have no excuse.

I had to buy a bathing suit today. I had been desperately avoiding this task. I broke down today and did it. But I ordered two. One that will fit me now, and one that will fit me soon. Very soon.