and this
and this
and this
and even this crazy thing
And then, one night a few years ago, I was driving in the wee hours through the mountains of Pennsylvania, by myself, in the fog. There was construction and the normally-four-lane road, was two lanes, one in each direction, RIGHT next to each other.
And I freaked. My body hit this
And this
felt like it would explode or stop, or seize up, or something. I finally saw a roadside motel, of questionable repute, and I pulled over to doze until dawn so I could continue my drive in daylight.
Ever since then, I have panic attacks in the car. I used to have them just driving up and down the road to get my kids from school. But I realized that sleep deprivation played a major role. Little One was an infant. Now that she is older and my sleep is more regular (well, for me anyway), I can drive around town without any problems. (Unless it gets dark. Or rainy. Or foggy. *shudder*)
But driving on the open highway is still a problem. And bridges, dear LORD. I force myself to do it because I know that if I don't, my fears will only get worse.
It's like my own personal stress test. My heart POUNDS practically out of my chest. My sweat glands open up and drench me. My stomach flips upside down. (It's not unlike shredding, actually!)
But I CAN DO IT.
What I haven't done though, is this.
And on Friday, I need to. Because I have to get here.
And the only way to get there is this.
(Without really being ridiculous and driving through a few extra states and WAAAAY out of my way.)
And, being a reasonable person (somewhere deep in my mind), I remind myself that no one has ever driven off this
Except, oh wait! There was this
Yes, that is a tractor trailer in the water down there.
I may need this.
11 comments:
It took me a really long time to figure out what rhymed with organic. So maybe when you're driving over that tiny, totally safe, barely a bridge, you can keep your mind off of the (entirely safe) road by thinking about what a moron I am.
Panic. Duh. It's panic.
I just found your blog.
We used to live in your neck of the woods and I completely agree with you about the Chesapeake Bay bridge. I always tried to keep my eyes fixed on the inside railing. Or better yet, make someone else drive!
I just learned something about you I didn't know! I'm with Stimey, your rhyming activity had me stumped as well!
How about if the kids really misbehave as you are driving over the bridge to distract you?
Have you heard about the Mackinac Bridge up in Michigan? So many people panic at the prospect of driving over it that they have "escorts" who will get in your car and drive you across. Maybe they can do that for your bridge.
oh honey - that is a scary one. And don't let anybody tell you that your fear isn't real, because it so clearly is.
I am ok with the bridges - it's be the highway before and after that would get me!
ann
Delurking to tell you that you can get an escort across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, too. I've seen signs at either end saying that this is where you wait for them. I'm not sure who to call, but I'm sure a Google search would yield something.
Good luck. I hate bridges, too.
I wrote about that bridge and used that exact picture this summer. It's a scary one and that accident didn't help.
PS: Orgasmic rhymes too.
xoxo, SG
I know about that bridge. I have panic attacks every.single.time.
Hey, I didn't know we were neighbors!
I hate driving over that bridge. It scares the bejesus out of me every freakin' time. I almost had a heart attack when I heard about the 18 wheeler that went off it. Oh, even thinking about it makes me feel freaky.
I hate bridges! Especially that one! I find looking straight ahead and staying in the center lane helps. And you must be the one to drive because no one does it better. Right? ;) And dear god, make sure no one says, "Mommy! Look at all the waaaaaaaaaaater!" Oy! *gulp*
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Go ahead. I can take it.