Monster Momma

(Image from http://hackedgadgets.com/)

THIS is what I need. I was driving through my neighborhood today and I ran over a curb. And not just any curb (of course), a big, honkin' metal storm drain cover of a curb. And it sliced my tire which promptly deflated. And yes, this is the third time this has happened to me recently. But truly, this one was not entirely my fault. There was a car parked right at the corner. (Illegal, by the way.) And it's a narrow, narrow street. And I was trying to get to McDonalds... I was starving, ya know. And I forgot my wallet. So I was zipping back home, but my zip zagged, the curb LEAPT under my van and I ended up having to ditch it a few blocks from home. And no, I didn't walk to McDonalds. (Because I didn't have my wallet, remember? Otherwise, I totally would have.)

So I walked back to my house and tried to think of some likely scenario that Rocket Man would believe so I wouldn't have to tell him I ran over a curb AGAIN. A GIANT pothole, a juvenile delinquent with a pocket knife, glass ALL! OVER! the road.

As soon as I walked in and said I had a flat tire, he said "You ran over a curb again, didn't you?" Ack. I'm a sucky liar.

I need driving lessons, or a wider-streeted (yes, I made that up) neighborhood, or a smaller car (a snappy little sports car, perhaps) - but for that I would need less kids too. It's a lot to ask, I guess. So Monster Truck tires it will have to be. The regular tires cost almost $200 each. (So yes, that is $600 I have run through in the past year with NOTHING to show for it.) I can't imagine how much the BIG BOYS cost. But we'd only have to buy them once I think. (Plus a ladder for each side of the car. And some pink fuzzy dice.)