pennies from heaven (or, somewhere, hopefully)

Ever since the fall, I've been having panic attacks in my sleep. I wake up, heart racing, afraid I've missed some major deadline for Tide's high school applications.

I was so glad when we finally got them all sent in. I knew I just needed to fill out the paperwork for financial aid and scholarships, which I'm hoping will factor in heavily because Catholic high schools around here cost almost $20,000/year. (I know, right?) But those weren't due until February.

*insert ominous music here*

On Saturday morning, I woke up in a panic about the financial aid forms. So I decided to pull them out and start working on them right away, even though they weren't due for a few weeks.

*ominous music again*

Except one of the forms had been due 4 days before.

I MISSED THE DEADLINE.

Holy freak out! My stomach dropped, my pulse raced, my scalp went cold.

HOW DID I MISS THE FREAKING DEADLINE????

I did a quick review of the process and realized that you could do the form online (which gets processed immediately) or by mail (which takes 10-12 days), so I PRAYED that if I did it online, mine would actually get there BEFORE the people who did it by mail (IF they waited until the last day which is probably what I would have done HAD I KNOWN WHEN THE LAST DAY WAS.)

We spent a few hours filling out the form online. It actually made us look rather poor.

How many kids do you have in tuition paying institutions? 4
How much will the total tuition be for next year? MUCH more than I made in my first job.
How much are your cars worth? The minivan with all the bike and scooter scratches on the side and the dent from when I backed into that tree in the preschool parking lot? {WHO PLANTS A TREE IN A PARKING LOT?} Or the Suburu with the baseball-sized dents on the hood and roof from parking too close to baseball practice? Either way? NOT MUCH.
How much did you spend on vacation last year? ZERO
How much money in your savings account? What savings account?
How much did you have in un-reimbursed medical expenses last year? Enough to make me cry.
How much will your medical insurance premiums cost this year? TWICE what they cost last year. For even LESS coverage. {sob}

Come to think of it, those financial aid forms are downright depressing.

I submitted the form online and faxed a copy to the school immediately with a cover letter begging for mercy and offering up my children as indentured servants. Then I called on Tuesday (after the MLK holiday). No answer. Left a message. No call back. Called again the next day. Waited again.

Then, FINALLY, a call back.

"It's all fine. No worries. That date is arbitrary. We won't start looking at those for a few weeks."

I can't TELL you how relieved I was. I would have popped open some champagne, but it was only 3 in the afternoon. Also, next year, when I fill out the financial aid form, it might ask how much champagne I've drunk. I need to say zero.

Box wine only here.



Housekeeping note: I haven't used the Laundry for Six Facebook page for much besides linking to new posts. (Which, I know, have been few and far between.) But I'm going to start posting status updates over there, which will hopefully bridge the gap between posts over here, until I can get myself on some sort of regular schedule again. So if you haven't Liked me on Facebook, click on over there.

2012

Happy New Year!

We've been celebrating here. My dad turned 80 last week and we threw him a surprise dinner. (And were really glad when yelling "SURPRISE" didn't cause him to have a heart attack. Fortunately, he had just had angioplasty the week before. Otherwise, who knows? It might have been traumatic.)

Cheer turned 9. NINE! He's really 9 now. He's adorable and I wish I could bottle him up. Or clone him. Except for right after he's been out on his pogo stick or playing basketball. Then he kinda stinks.

School opened it's doors again yesterday! Halle-freaking-lujah! I love the break from homework and alarm clocks and uniforms. But six people cannot get along for twelve days in close quarters. They cannot. If you don't believe me, I have video. Also? Now I have the new iPad all to myself for a few hours. Because I never got a turn with it while the kids were home.

It's a New Year. Big changes are coming this year. Tide is graduating from 8th grade. Starting high school. The big full-ride scholarship to some high school is coming. I just know it. (Ok, so that won't happen.) Hopefully a job for me. I'm still completely conflicted about what to do with myself. School, no school. New career, old career. Easy, flexible job. Actual important job with responsibilities. Someone please tell me what to be when I grow up.

Did you make any resolutions?

I want to get 8 hours of sleep a night. (I probably should have picked something easy like running a marathon or writing a book.) So far, it's only happened one night. Baby steps.

Here's to a 2012 with more good than suck. (Optimistic, I know.)

the unfettering

The beauty and magic of Christmas knocked me over again, as it does year after year. The early morning footsteps, the squeals, the voices begging us to get out of bed so the present opening can begin. (If you remember, last year, this started at 4:10am. This year, was a much more respectable 7:00am.)

The fear that hangs heavy in my heart through most of December - that someone will be disappointed, his or her little heart crushed - and that it will be all my fault, is finally put to rest. It's a hefty responsibility - one that has little to do with the baby Jesus - but everything to do with motherhood and the memories of Christmases past, and the generations of mothers before me who stayed up late sewing doll clothes or saving a few pennies from the groceries week after week to surprise their children with something they never expected.

Somehow, it always works out. And although I wish that part of Christmas, the gifting and the spending and the shopping, was somehow less stressful and less important, I strive each year to make sure my children understand how fortunate, how very blessed we are. We spend the other 364 days of the year saying "No. Sorry. Too expensive. Can't afford it." On this one day, it's a wonderful treat to make a few dreams come true.

We repeat our traditions - Christmas eve at the grandparents, church in the morning, monkey bread for breakfast, dinner on the good china. And although there is something in me that strains against rigid tradition, I know that these are the things that my children will do with their children. And are in fact, the very things that my grandparents did with their children. And I stand aside with my need for change and newness and grab onto the worn and weathered threads that bind all these generations together.

Our Christmas was lovely. How was yours?